It's Been Too Long

For the first time in my young life I'm ready to accept the responsibilities of being a full blown adult. Of course, I won't have to completely accept those responsibilities quite yet. But I would if I could. High school and my childhood were both times I will never forget. The memories and the friends that I had made and still hold on dearly to. And college...well if you've ever been, whether that's attending classes or just attending parties or the bars for the weekend then you know how wonderful and fun and exhausting and challenging it can be. Especially Mike's on a Friday night in Pullman. And I intend to enjoy it up until the very last minute that I have it. But I'm ready for more than drinking to get drunk with friends on a Saturday night. Not that I don't intend on drinking into my adulthood because let's be honest, it can be fun. Heck, I know many people twice my age that know how to party it up better than I do and how to have a grand ol' time. And I hung out with several of them this past weekend. But I'm ready for more than living for the weekend. Because let's say that you live for 85 years. Of the roughly 31,025 days that you'll live, only about 8,670 of those are weekends. That's 22,335 days spent waiting for the weekends. And that's all rough numbers because it's not counting the younger years, holiday breaks, three day weekends etc. But could also include weekends spent working or doing things considered less than fun. So rough estimate. But even so, that's a lot of wasted time. And I'm not saying that you have to be a full blown adult to appreciate those days in between the weekends. I'm also not saying that every adult appreciates those days either. I'm just saying that I've reached a point in my life where I want to appreciate the days between the weekends as much as I appreciate the weekends. I'm ready to move past the studying and put into practice everything that each individual teacher put in all that time and effort to sink into my brain so that one day it wouldn't have all been a waste of their time. I mean that both in what I plan to do as a career and in my life as an individual citizen in this country. 

I look forward to waking up next to the same person every day who shares all the love that I share for him. Preferably with dogs laying on the bed as well for some slobbery kisses. To wake up to kids of my own that I get to teach all of my (still pretty limited) wisdom. (Don't worry mom I'm not talking anytime in the next few years). 

Whenever I'm home I get this idea in my mind, thinking about my childhood and being in high school and college, and I get this feeling like I'll be back there some day, to live those years again. And it takes my brain a second to realize that I won't be going back there. At least not with myself personally. And I think it's because that's all my brain knows and is used to. Every day that I've lived so far has been in school, for the most part living under my parents' house, and with limited (though some more than others) responsibilities. But knowing that I will not be going back to those younger days, I'm starting to feel like...why not let's get started on these ones that I'm living now and will be living in the future. On my own, eventually a house, husband, kids, bills, all the big kid responsibilities. 

Not to say I'm quite ready for ALL of that just yet...because I'm not. But I'm ready to move in the direction of wanting those things and not wanting to stay in college for the rest of my life. Of course I'll always want to learn more like I have been in college, but perhaps with less of the college-life environment. I want to explore the world, learn about how to make it better. Learn about politics and how things in politics truly do affect me. (People always tell young kids how politics affect them, but unless they really understand politics even slightly, it's hard to comprehend or believe it) (I know from experience). 

I'm not saying I'm going to go changing the whole world and everyone who inhabits it. But I did hear once that even if you were to go and move one grain of sand in the Sahara desert, you have forever changed the desert. So it may be little things. But change is change. And I'm ready for it. 

Now don't go thinking that just because I'm ready to live in adulthood and out of the in-between life called college that I'm going to be no fun. Many, many people, mostly young adults and children think that being adult means all responsibility and no fun. But that's not true. Your childhood and college years (depending on how long you get stuck there) are only a mere fourth or fifth of your whole life (give or take 80 years because life is unpredictable). The fun has just begun. And that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard work. But it can be hard work that's fun and that pays off. And I'm not saying it's going to be a walk in the park because we know that's not all true. Life isn't a walk in the park whether you're 6 or you're 60. You can always have a complicated problem to solve in front of you no matter what age you are.

All I want to say is that I'm ready. Finally. I'm ready for it. 

Ask me tomorrow and you might get a different answer. But today I'm ready.