Feeling Inspired

And in a second, everything changes. The words come out of your mouth as they pour into my mind. Spine-tingling, mind-numbing words. So many words but nothing to say. Everything you (or I) thought before is now seen from a new perspective. Not the same. Will never be the same. Forever changed and unchangeable. These words, the words that are so hard to get out will mean nothing to you but are trapped in me. The only way I can get them out is here. Here and now. Even so, they might not make sense to me later. How can something so evolutionary, so normal, be so complex and so out-of-this-world. I am not asking you. I am telling you. Not just one thing is changing in one life. Everything changing. Every life. 

On that day, that one little flame set the world on fire. Uncontrollable, untameable, unstoppable. Not that there was anyone there to stop it. It was inevitable. Destiny? I wouldn't go that far. But is not everything in our life already decided? There may be a divine soul out there choosing our fate right now. Who lives. Who dies. Deciding the change. Is our fate set from the start or does it change as we go along. 

I find myself frequently looking up at the stars. Looking up or looking at. Sometimes even I do not know. What do I feel? What am I supposed to feel? Right now I feel selfish. I also feel that non explainable sense when you realized a change has taken place and you want to go back to where you started. Feeling almost helpless because you know that you are not intelligent enough to come up with a way to change it back or to go back in time. To youth. Yes, I am still in my youth but being pulled at a remarkable speed out of it. Unfair. That is what I want to call it. Unfair seems to be the proper word but it is not. But the word we are looking for is not "unfair", as much as we want it to be. It would be much easier that way, would it not? But we all know what that word is. That ten letter word that we hate to hear, love to prove wrong, and cry because we know it is true. 

Impossible

They tell us no thing is impossible. No feat. No task. No wish is impossible if we just set our minds to it. They were right. Because in my mind, no thing is impossible. But outside of my mind it seems, sometimes, that everything is impossible. 

So with all of this, what do we know? What do we have? And what can we do?
We know a change has occurred. This change is irreversible and it is forever changed.
We have life, we have love, we have one another. 
And the hardest one: what can we do?
We can take many paths with this one.
We can accept this change as a gift, as a choice, as a fate.
We can accept it.
And the latter. We can not accept it.

What do I want to do? I have yet to decide. Of course I do not want to accept it. Whoever, divine being or human being. Whatever, whoever caused this. This change. I do not want to accept it. Unfair. Unfair. Unfair. 
Impossible. Change. Acceptance. 
In time you need to accept things as they come, as they are. I am still working on that part. With everything in my life. It is always hard to accept change. Eventually it will happen. Right? I can only hope.

But until then, I will be here, writing, thinking, unaccepting of these difficult changes. Thinking, wishing, hoping for those impossibilities. 

And they said nothing was impossible. 

The Time of My Life

Well first of all, I’m finally done working. I shouldn’t be so glad, though. I loved all the people that I worked with at both places. Time really flies by so fast. It seems like I was just thinking how long it would be until I went back to school and now I’m down to three days. THREE DAYS. How does that even happen? I saw this thing on my phone that said “We should give time a speeding ticket”. Funny, but oh so true. So I still need to pack…like just about everything. I was slightly distracted by something else that I had to pack for…

Oh my. My, oh my. Are there actually words to describe the memories and the atmosphere of this past weekend? I don’t think that there are. First and foremost, if you aren’t a country music fan, it may be hard to understand the experience of a weekend like I had. I was waiting so long for this weekend and then it came and went so quickly. Although now, I feel like I had been there a week rather than just three days. But it was probably the best three days of my life. I met so many new people, probably hurt my liver a bit, and listened to some awesome music by some wonderful artists. I have never seen more American flags, Confederate flags, cowboy boots, cowboy hats, camo, beer, or rednecks in one place. It was crazy. At one point, there was a guy carrying an American flag with about 100 or more of us following singing “Chicken Fried” as the security guards tried to break us up. I saw more boobs than I ever need to see again. I chanted “USA USA USA” more times in a row than I ever have. I sat on the shoulders of random people that were nice enough to let me do so, so that I could sing out my favorite songs at the top of my lungs. I did a few things that I don’t recall actually doing. Apparently I “just wanted some food” (and that is an inside joke that will remain an inside joke). I almost touched Blake Shelton’s hand, although I did reach his boot, his very sexy, very country boot. Miranda Lambert pointed directly at me while her and her hubby Blake sang together and then they kissed on stage. What a perfect couple. I slept outside, a lot. I walked around in my bikini literally all weekend, as did everyone else that was there since it was a hundred degrees. I found out how sexy Brantley Gilbert (and his drummer, too) is. I danced, and danced, and danced. And then danced some more. I danced on top of a car. I danced on top of a camper. I danced with a Canadian. I danced with my best friends. I danced with one of my favorite people in the entire world. I ate way too many hot dogs (I don’t want to look at another one for a very long time). All in all, I had the time of my life.

         

It really was a wonderful way to end my summer. One I will never forget. And that is only the first annual Watershed Country Music Festival. Who knows what next year’s will bring…

So now I am planning everything that I need for my departure back to Pullman. I cannot believe summer is over already. Well, it’s not quite, but my summer in Spokane is. Although it wasn’t the most exciting summer I have ever had because I was working a lot, I met so many new people and made new friends and had experiences and made memories to last a lifetime. I loved it. And now I am ready to go back to school. I get to move in with my best friend. Life will be good. Busy, but good. I also just found out that this Labor Day may be the last of my family’s annual pig roast that we have had every year for the past I don’t even know how many years. So I am very sad about that. Hopefully I can even go and make it one to remember. The years will not be the same without that part of the summer but I’ll just have to find a new tradition to celebrate it with.

And now I must return to my packing (that I have barely started). Here we go.

Oh, and I have I mentioned how much I love country music? Or how sexy Blake Shelton, Brantley Gilbert, Brantley’s drummer, and Thomas Rhett are? Well they are.