What I want to be when I grow up

I feel like every time I'm writing in my blog now it's about change and uncertainties and certainties and things along those lines. But I feel like at this point in a persons life you are already going through so many changes physically and mentally. I mean, sure, there are things that I know are solid, like family and friends. I know that when I come out of college it's going to be with SOMETHING. I just don't know what. When I was five I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was in middle school I wanted to play beach volleyball. When I was in high school I wanted to be in high school for the rest of my life. At the end of high school I wanted to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist. At the beginning of this year I wanted to be a writer (that never went away but I didn't think I was a good enough one). At the end of last semester I was going to be an English major and then maybe be a teacher afterwards. Then I wanted to just be an English teacher. Now once again I don't know. I did some teacher shadowing and I liked the look of it but I don't know if I want to do the same thing over and over again. I would love to be a journalist but I just don't know if my writing is quality enough or if it will ever get to that point. And at the end of this semester is when I'm supposed to be declaring my major and I don't even know what I'm going to do. I think I'm just afraid of making a final decision because, well, it's final. I know I need to decide. But I'm encountering that question in my life once again: what do I want to be when I grow up? I know things that I want. Like a family, children, I want to be able to have time with my family and not have to always choose work over family. I don't care about being rich but I want a stable life. I wish they paid you to be a soccer mom! (Although I don't like soccer, I'm thinking more like baseball-football-basketball in the case of boys). That would be ideal. But I hear that the whole mom business costs more than it pays (financially of course). In love and happiness being a mom I'm sure definitely pays more. 

I know I can't just be a professional student either. As much as I love constant stress from studying and homework. That costs too much to be worth it. So I don't exactly have the time to be one of those. 

What am I good at? What do I like to do? 

I like to be outdoors. I like kids. I like reading and writing. I like meeting new people my age. 

What am I good at? Rambling on in my blogs. I'm good at reading and researching (if some girl starts talking to my boyfriend you bet your ass I can find out who she is what she does if she's single where she's from, etc). So maybe I could be a good journalist. I don't know?!!! I'm so lost and stressed because if I don't want to be a teacher, well I'd still have many classes to take for it but I will also be behind in com classes for journalism. Lets just say that I'm definitely not finishing in four years. Jeez. What the heck am I going to do?! I know that I'll never be a Shakespearian researcher. I'm done with that guy. Yikes. 

It's frustrating. I know I don't want to work a minimum wage job. I'm not good at the one I had haha. 

God. I thought I had it all figured out for a solid two months. How comforting was that? But at least I got a taste of what it's like before I got too deep into it. But the question still remains: what do I want to be when I grow up? 

I wish someone had the answers for me. But no one does. Not even me. 

And it's frustrating but I know that things have a way of falling into place. But I also know that I can't just sit around and wait for things to happen. I need to make choices that will affect my life. 

And therein lies the problem. I don't want to have a career that I don't love or at least enjoy. 

But I don't know what I'm good at AND would enjoy. 

So many questions and decisions to answer and make. 

And I might be making a huge decision at the end of this year which in itself would be changing my life drastically. 

So I guess we will just see what happens. 

I know big changes are about to happen so all I can do is just learn to embrace and accept them and make the most of whoever I'm with and whatever I'm doing and be happy.