If Not Faith Then Hope

One of Webster's dictionary definitions of faith is a "firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust". And throughout our lives we are tested time and time and time again our faith. Our faith in God. Our faith in our purpose. Our faith in family, friends, lovers. Our faith in ourselves. To have faith in someone or something for which there is absolutely no proof, no data, no lie detector test that can prove that your faith in that thing or person can ever be proved to not harm or hurt you or betray you or be taken from you. No proof whatsoever. It's a wonder how anyone could ever have true full faith in anything. But that's what faith is. Not knowing but still believing and trusting. 

So what do we do when our faith falters? How do we ever regain that full feeling of belief? Without the slightest bit of doubt? In my opinion, I think it's difficult to ever do. You can have so much faith in someone or something but still have the tiniest sliver of doubt that you hide in the very back hidden corner of your mind and pretend it's not there but knowing that it is. 

I think faith in God is easy. Do you believe in God? Yes. But how do you know? I just do. 

Faith in humans and in ourselves even is so much more difficult. Humans are ever changing and growing and moving and shifting and feeling. You never know if you're gonna wake up one day and feel different than the day you did before. In a split second you could make a decision that could completely change the direction of your life. Humans are never constant, so inconsistent. And that's not a bad thing. That's our genetics our environment our brains. Everything about us. It's what makes us human. It's that thing that sets us apart from all other species and beings. 

So with all of these ever changing beings how could we ever have pure faith in them? As C.S. Lewis said, "You can't know. You can only believe--or not". All the time people have faith in the wrong things, the wrong friends, the wrong love. They have faith and their faith was proven to be wrong. Yet they still continue to have faith in something or someone new. Some people, not matter how many times they get hurt or betrayed or left, continue to have faith over and over again. That's true faith in humanity. 

Others never have faith. Always sleeping with one eye open, waiting for the other shoe to drop, never fully trusting anything or anyone unless there is 100% proof that it won't fail them. And others fall somewhere in between. 

I think I fall somewhere in between complete faith and complete lack of faith in the space I would call hope. Hope that one day someone or something will be the thing that I can put my absolute faith into. Hope that the faith that I do or will have in someone or something is not misplaced or misguided. Hope that someday my fears and uncertainties and doubts will be suppressed by my over arching  pure faith. "It's the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee."

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope" (MLK Jr)