Sunday, December 2, 2012

DB of the Year

Pardon any explicit language you are about to read. 
Annnnnd the douche bag of the year award goes out to you. You know who you are. Shall we go over the things you've done to earn this award? There are most likely plenty more things that I don't even know about but we'll start here. Strike one: you led my best friend on to think that you were one of those nice quiet, shy guys. Hand holding, movie watching, sleepovers, cuddling. He doesn't even have a fb he's so shy and quiet! Then after two months, you two attempt to commit and you decide that you want out. Bull shit. 
Strike two: after hours, days, weeks of confusion, none of us can figure out how such a nice guy could do something like that. Anger, hurt, tears. And then we are enlightened to the real cause of the matter. YOU'VE HAD A GIRLFRIEND FOR FOUR YEARS YOU POS. Who the heck does that? Oh. And on top of that, you do have a Facebook, you just blocked her from it so that she couldn't see that you did in fact have a girlfriend. What does Dawn think about this buddy? If you're going to block one girl from seeing it, you better have blocked the whole gawd dammed campus from you. 
Strike three four five six and so on:
As any good friend would, we all gave you death glares, looked down upon you, all things that make sense for friends to do. And you turn the tables on her and make her feel like the bad person? Oh you must be mistaken. It's not like she told us to glare at you or accidentally shoulder check you at a party. That's what we're here for and I would expect the same of her if the situation was reversed. And when she calls you out on that you still try to blame it on her. You know what you are? You are a manipulative, asshole, douche bag, piece of shit if I've ever seen one. And you know what I should do? I should get a group of people to go kick your ass because you would more than deserve it. But instead I'm writing this, to get my feelings out. And you know what I'm going to do now? I forgive you. I know that deep deep deep deep down there in you somewhere there is probably something good. You have a crumby way of showing anything good in you unless it's to get what you want. I'm not worried about getting revenge for my friend because karma will come around and do it's job. I just hope you learn your lesson before something bad happens to you. Not everyone's friends are as forgiving. So that girl you held hands with the other night, or the girl you were making out with last night (meanwhile still having a girlfriend) you'd better be careful. She might have a big brother with big muscles and a big agenda for watching out for his little sis or something. Right now, you are not being a good person, to anyone. So you need to straighten your shit out before it gets you in trouble, Number 19. And if you ever hurt my friend again: well she may not have a big older brother, but I do. And he'll watch out for my friends just as much as he'll watch out for me. I can only forgive the same person so many times. 
Just please, please, try to be a good person. A better person at the very least. 

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