Heated

        Boy do I have a lot to talk about. So listen if you want, you might be offended but this is my blog and these are my opinions. So there’s my disclaimer.

        First of all, only about a half hour ago I got in a heated discussion with this guy in my math class who I was studying with. Nice kid. He could be reading this too, since he’s friends with me on Facebook, so if you are, this is nothing against you, just me expressing my opinions. Our first argument was about whether or not caffeine is a drug. Caffeine is a type of drug, or at least it acts like one. It is a stimulant. According to the FDA, “Whether caffeine is consumed in food or as a medicine, it changes the way your

brain and body work and changes how you behave and feel. Caffeine is a central

nervous system stimulant.” And “The FDA says that caffeine is both a drug and a food additive. Caffeine is used in both prescription and over-the-counter medicines to treat tiredness or drowsiness and to improve the effect of some pain relievers.” (http://www.fda.gov/downloads/Drugs/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/BuyingUsingMedicineSafely/UnderstandingOver-the-CounterMedicines/UCM205286.pdf) So um, sorry, bud, but you lose that one. Why else do you think that so many people in this country cannot go a morning without coffee? I’m not saying that it is addicting, although it could be, I am just saying that it has an effect on your body and it changes what goes on in your body so that when you consume it daily and then stop consuming it, your body will have a reaction to that, therefore it is a drug.

        Our next argument, I got really heated about. We rolled off of the caffeine topic somehow on to whether or not alcoholism was a disease or not. Well it is. People go into rehab for alcoholism. There are support groups. I have a lot of experience around it actually. He says, and I cannot quote this word for word, but that alcoholics choose to be that way. No. No no no no no. Okay, maybe most alcoholics could have started off by choosing to drink. They went all throughout college and decided that they did not want to stop being the party animal they were and kept on going. Either way, whether they started out that way or not, they are not choosing to have an alcoholism problem. They become dependent upon it, whether out of habit, or to escape problems. Whatever it may be. However, I will admit that to overcome alcoholism they DO have to choose to do that. And some people can be so far past that point that someone has to push them into it. But yes, sir, alcoholism is in fact a disease. You cannot just quit. Some people can, but there are people that canNOT do that by themselves.

        I just had to get that off of my chest. If you disagree with me on either case, well, you’re wrong, and we shall agree to disagree because unless there is new science out there to prove otherwise, I will stick with my opinion thank-you-very-much.

        My next thing, that has just been on my mind lately is psychological things like depression. Not me having depression, because I don’t. I was thinking of it in terms of other people and why people do what they do. As a psychology enthusiast, (since I am no longer majoring in it), I always try to see the psychological side of things. For instance a breaking news cast about a man who violently beat his whole family to death and then shot himself at the end. I know, morbid major. But my first instinct is now never, “oh my gosh what an asshole-freak-who-the-fuck-would-do-that kind of guy”. Yes, those things do come to mind on occasion. But more importantly I think, what was going through his head? Did he have some sort of multiple-personality disorder where one of his personalities did this, or maybe he was depressed, perhaps schizophrenic? There are millions of different possible reasons for why he did what he did. But can we really ever know that? I really want to bring up why I am thinking about all of this, but it is kind of personal and possibly none of my business, so I don’t really know if I have the right to do so. Hmm, maybe I would make a good psychologist. Who knows. It has just been on my mind a lot. I always want to know why people do the things that they do.

        Speaking of not majoring in psychology: another thing that has been on my mind is what the hell am I going to do with my life? Literally right now, if someone had a gun to my head (I am being so morbid right now, I blame my English classes), and I was wearing a lie detector and they told me to tell them what I want to do with my life, I would have no answer. Do I want to teach? Maybe, that’d be fun and I think I’d really enjoy it. Do I want to write? I’d love to, but write what? Do I want to edit? That’d be a dream, but am I going to be able to be good enough at it to make it a career? Do I even for sure want to major in English? I think so, I mean it’s one of the things I love most, but I do love a lot of different things. Why am I paying 25 grand a year here to do? I know it’s not to be partying all the time. I could have a PhD in that right now. (Just kidding, Mom). No really, though, what am I going to do? What do I want to do? I just envy those people that wake up every day and think, I know what I want to do, I’m good at it, and I love doing it. Some people are born to be musicians, some are born to play baseball, some are born to work in the ER. What the heck was I born to do? Because I don’t know that it has hit me yet. Because if it had, wouldn’t I have known it by now? Or maybe it’s just one of those things I have to work up to. I DON’T KNOW. I hate not knowing. I like having plans and goals and everything organized. But how am I supposed to plan out my life when I have no clue what I want to do? It’s stressing me out even more because I need to know, like soon, like real soon. I know I can always change my mind in the long run, but that may cost me, literally. Maybe I wont find out what I am supposed to be doing with my life until I’m 35 (gawd I hope not). But I just want to know now!!

        Oh, by the way, being an adult sucks. Having to pay bills and shit. Hats off to every adult in my life that I once thought had it so easy making money and what not, that ain’t easy. Livin’ ain’t easy. I get it now, thanks.

        I’m done for the day, I think I’ve rambled enough and I apologize, again, if I have offended anyone. My blog, my rules. I’m going to go do some productive school writing now, hopefully.