I Do Not See You

               Well, well, well. Another weekend has come and gone. Oh my gosh it is already almost October. That means autumn! Pumpkins and leaves and apple cider and costumes and yummy smelling food and candles and fall decorations. I love fall. I’m so excited that it is…pretty much kinda almost here. It always reminds me of going to Green Bluff (those from the Spokane area know about it). Going through the corn maze, picking out the best pumpkins, carving them after pulling out all the gooey, yucky insides that turn out to be tasty when you cook it right. Scary movies; now watching scary movies is one of my favorite activities. Especially in the fall. So here’s what I’ve got planned for the next few months: School, football games, ABC Family’s Thirteen Nights of Halloween, baking, more school, the traditional Halloween nights in Pullman of dressing up, hopefully go to the corn maze and the pumpkin patch, more school, the Apple Cup, read a good book (or three), Thanksgiving—Pullman style?, cuddling in warm blankets with fuzzy socks with some hot cocoa when it starts to get cold, sleepovers with the boyfriend (hopefully lots), listening to Christmas music, watching Christmas movies, decorating my very first own tree with my roomie, more Christmas music, some school in there somewhere, finals, home, family, A Christmas Story marathon, more hot cocoa, sledding, ice skating, snow angels, Christmas food, lots of hand-warmers, snow snow snow. So that’ll pretty much wrap up my October through December.

          Now we’ll go with a little less light. I am burdened once again by the quality of the human kind (or not so kind). How many times in my life will I be struck with the idea that there are people out there who are stricken with evil and are unkind to others for no reason. There is no karma involved in this. Unless it be the karma that should hopefully hit them soon. I don’t know if you ever read one of my previous blogs about this, but not too long ago, my distant cousin, with whom I was not close with but I still knew him and cared about him, but he was attacked and killed and thrown in the river to die by his own friend. Now if you can’t trust friends, who can you trust these days? Anyways, this was brought back into my mind when I was told about two young guys who were jumped out of nowhere and both put into the hospital because of it. Not only that, there was a witness who just stood by and watched it happen. Now I did not know either of the boys who were attacked, nor did I know the ones who attacked them. It doesn’t matter. No matter how desperate you are, although I have a hunch that none of them were that desperate, you cannot do that. You cannot go into someone else’s life and hurt them or give them grief, or take something from them. What could possibly give someone the right to do that? And more importantly what would make them feel like they can do that? Like I’ve said before, I always, always, try to see the very best in people, even when it’s hidden or they pretend like it’s not there, I look for it. But my faith in mankind is slipping. And has been for sometime. It’s hard for me to look for the good in people like that, and in a person like the one who killed my cousin. People, seriously, you do not have to like another person, that is never expected of you. Some people you just do not like and I understand that. But there is no reason to ever not show respect for someone who has done nothing wrong to you. Do people even ever think about the consequences of their actions anymore these days? I cannot even walk home from a night class without being freaked out and calling my mom for goodness sake. Where are all of the good people at? I know that I am surrounded by good, generous, caring people in my life. How do those who aren’t get along in their lives?

          I will always try my best to see the good in every person. But for those who do things like this, who harm other people for no reason, take something from their lives, I do not see you at all. I don’t ever want to see you. My vision need not be hindered by those who have no respect for others and no respect for themselves. But I’ll wait. Because I know there will come a day when you see yourself for who you really are. And when you do, you’ll want to change that. You’ll find the good in yourself. And then, only then, will I see you.

          “Everybody love everybody” <3