Adrenaline is Contagious, Hiccups are Not

            Okay y’all, it’s about to get serious up in here. I wanted to talk about the greatness of life talks with good friends. And those life talks are the reason I am up at this ungodly hour typing away. It is so nice to hear that other people share the same weird thoughts as you do. Sometimes you get selfish and think that you are the only person in this world and the only person that could be thinking these thoughts inside of your head. But when you open up to other people, that’s when you can truly realize that you are not alone. Sure, we don’t all agree on these thoughts. But at least you know that someone else is thinking them.

            So tonight, laying out under “the stars” a.k.a. Drew’s lighted ceiling, having our life talks was much needed. Oh, and Jack Johnson Pandora station…bomb for a deep talk under the stars kind of night. But our deep talk also brought to realization how crazy and difficult love can be and how many crazy and weird and truly psycho people there are out there in the world. Therefore, what I came out of our talk with is, I hope to fall in love and find the person I want to be with for the rest of my life someday, and I hope I encounter the least amount of crazy people in this world as possible. (But everyone's crazy in some way so...).

            Actually I learned a lot more than that. But to sum it up, that’s about it. And because of that conversation, I will probably be sleeping until at least noon tomorrow. Considering I only got about 5 hours of sleep last night and I’m running on pure nothingness right now. I don’t honestly know how I am awake right now. I will probably read this tomorrow and be like, oh my, but that’s okay.

            Also, I think tonight I found out that adrenaline is contagious and hiccups are not. I hate the hiccups. They are easily one of the most annoying bodily reactions ever. Right under when there are people who have to sneeze not once, not twice, but ten times in a row, EVERY time (aka my mom). Oh, and about the adrenaline. I think it is contagious. There was a “situation” tonight, and it really only involved a few people, but even me, uninvolved and completely tired out of my mind, it affected me immediately. Sometimes, you can get so mad at someone that you just want to punch them in the face, I can get that way occasionally. But I, personally don’t know if I would ever actually be able to do so. I hate seeing people hurt, even if they deserve it. There’s just something in me that always feels the need to comfort someone in pain.

            Like the other day at work, there was this guy, he seemed really nice and friendly, and he came in and waited in our entryway area for his date. I offered to get him a table or a drink but he said he just wanted to wait. And wait he did. He sat there staring out the window for the date that would not come. He asked to use our phone to give them a call, I didn’t hear how the conversation went, but he still waited. I felt so awful. I really hope that person had a good reason for standing him up. Just the look on his face. Poor guy. I hate seeing people upset or hurt or in pain. Not just physically, but definitely that. That’s why I could never be a doctor or a veterinarian. Oh gosh its even worse with animals. But I hate being helpless to helping someone. There is nothing I could have done in that situation to make that guy feel better. And then there is the physically hurting people that drives me insane. How people can hurt another person, especially someone who is innocent, but even those who may “deserve” it. I’m not saying I’ve never hurt anyone. I know I have. And it is an awful feeling. I wish people, myself included, could just be a little more compassionate and respectful to one another. I know I’ve written about this before and it’s me going into my hippie-mode. But I can’t help it. Oh gosh, I’m just thinking about if I have kids one day I’m going to be one of those moms who tries to protect their kids from ever getting hurt by anything or anyone. Yikes. But what can ya do? It is what it is as I have been told. And now that I’ve given my philosophy on life, I am going to go to bed and hopefully not have nightmares.

            But my kitty cat is looking in random corners of my room with big bug eyes making me feel like there is something there that I can’t see. Oh great. Looks like I’m not sleeping tonight. I’ll stop typing though before I start to ramble anymore. Night y’all. Or, I guess good morning. Hopefully I’ll sleep…

Do Good Things Always Come to an End?

            So I haven’t written in a few days. Not because I didn’t want to. More because I didn’t know what to write about. Actually that’s not true, I have a ton of things to write about. The thing is that things have been going great lately, I didn’t want to jinx it by writing about it, ya know? So pretty much at this point I love more things about my life than things that I don’t like. And that’s always a good thing.

            It’s been a long week… and it’s only Tuesday. Well technically Wednesday now. Had a wonderful weekend. I worked, but it was still a great weekend. My cousins came and visited from Tacoma. And they are seriously, hands down, my favorite people in the entire world. I love seeing them. Both of them came over for their state golf tournament. They’re pretty much studs. I love them both and it was great to see them, even though they didn’t do their best in their golf tournament. It was still fun to see them and watch them golf. Sad they had to leave tonight, though.

            Well I think I am in love. With a new tv show of course. I knew what you were thinking. But my “love” life stays private thank you very much. Actually this tv show isn’t new, I’ve seen the first season, just not the other three so I am re-watching it. I love One Tree Hill, but now that the characters are out of college I don’t like it as much anymore. The only problem with television shows and netflix, is that it is taking time away from my reading. I seriously have not read a book in like two months now. That has got to be a record. I really need to work on that. I need to read. I cannot live without it. Therefore, I am going to start reading…soon.

            Now I have to go finish watching my episode and go to sleep since I have to work tomorrow… but not till 4:30 so I think I’ll be fine sleeping in, considering it is very late in the evening/early in the morning right now. Night ya’ll. 

Uh...

           Gahhh. Okay. I am not one to use my blog as like a vent for me, even though I should because it would probably help me mentally. But I also know that no one likes to sit and read about other people’s problems because everyone has their own problems. Sometimes, though, I just get so frustrated that all I want to do is sit here on my laptop and completely cuss out the people in my life that drive me crazy. For starters, my parents. Oh wait, they are the only ones in my life who truly drive me crazy. And the problem is…I can’t get away from them. I have no choice but to live with them because I’m still just a kid, I can’t move out, I can’t afford to move out and truthfully I don’t want to have to other than the fact that they live here too. And what’s even more frustrating is knowing that I absolutely have to make something of myself in this world so that I don’t end up like them. This may be harsh, but sometimes that’s what people need. I guess in a good way it is a motivator for me to do well in my life so I can provide a better life than they provided me for myself and if I one day have kids. It just sucks that it has to be that way. I know that everyone has problems, some have family problems, some have health problems, some mental problems. Everyone has problems whether they admit to them or not. It’s what you do with what you’re given that defines who you are. And I just don’t want to be that person to let a problem in my life define me in a negative way. I try try TRY my hardest to look at the positives in my life, and I do have a lot of them. I am just sometimes so overwhelmed with the negatives in my life that I let myself slip and start letting those problems define me. I know for sure that all of this built up…whatever it is, will someday hopefully help me positively in my work. Whether that is writing or publishing. Whatever I end up doing I just hope that in the end I not only acknowledge the positives but can some day use the negatives to help guide me in the direction that I know I want to go. And I’m working on that.

          Whew. Now that that is off my chest. We can move on. So. The past few days have been extremely busy, fun, and somewhat stressful. First of all, I got my new tattoo. Did not know if I was actually going to do it, but I sure did. With some help from some great friends. And it looks awesome. I love it. I’m glad I did it. But as far as I’m concerned right now, that will be the last of them. Not because I don’t like tattoos, it’s just that I feel like my body would be too cluttered with stuff. Ya know? I got super sun burned. That’s definitely not a good thing. I’m not aiming to get skin cancer or anything. At least the weather hasn’t been teasing me by being sunny when I can’t go out in it. Thank you weather gods. Also, I started my job at Mackenzie River Pizza. It is definitely overwhelming. I hate not knowing what I am supposed to be doing or not knowing how to do things. I know most people would, but it really is the most helpless feeling in the world. I’m learning, but still just getting the hang of it. I like it, though. I really like all of the people I have met so far. It seems like a fun group of people to work with. So I am excited to get to know them all better. Definitely a little nervous for tomorrow though because the past two days I have worked have been “slow” days, but to be honest, they did not feel so slow to me. Fridays are supposed to be like the busiest day…so I know I’m going to be stressed tomorrow. Hopefully I survive it. You’ll know if I do…or don’t.

          It is way past my bed time now so I think I am going to get some rest. Thankfully I do not have to get up early. Sorry ‘bout the complaining y’all but I had to get it out of me. I’ll try to stay more positive in my future blogs, do not worry J Good night. 

Once Upon a Whaaat?

             Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess (because she is always a princess) who met a very handsome prince. Unfortunately, there was some crazy witch or queen or step mother who was trying to prevent the princess from being happy with her man. After a close call, and an almost not-marriage, the evil queen-witch-step mom is slayed or falls out of a tower or dies in some other tragic way. Because of this, the princess and her prince are able to have their amazing wedding and live happily ever after. Then what? What exactly does happily ever after entail? Why, since we were very young, are we taught that we are all princesses that will find a prince and live happily ever after? And as we get older we are told that we will find a boy who will do anything, even give us the door to float on while he freezes and dies just out of love for us? Because none of those stories sounds like the majority of guys I have met. I would like to say chivalry is dead, but was it really ever there? Or is that just what we’re told? A bright side of this, though, is that it teaches us girls to expect only the best for ourselves. So there's that. 

        These freaking movies tell us that we will meet a boy and fall in love and be happy with them for the rest of our lives. Well, I can see the first part happening. Many people fall in love with each other. But who knows how long that love will truly last. According to the movies it lasts for…ever after. Hmm…something sounds fishy about that. Right. Because it’s totally not true! I’m not a cynic. I believe in love and I believe that when you find the right person you truly can be happy with them for the rest of your life. But movies portray this as if this happiness exists every single day of that life. Which it does not. Okay, not all movies do this, but a lot of them. And even the ones that show “real” situations that could happen that are maybe sad or heartbreaking, generally end up with some type of happily ever after. Or at least lead you to believe that is how it ended. It does happen, but it seems more and more rare these days which just brings down the hope. 

        Not only that, there are movies that show us these amazing super heroes that exist that can take on incredible forces. I’ll admit, especially after watching the Avengers recently, I’d be down to have some type of super strength and fight some evil out-of-this-world aliens. (Plus there were some definite hotties in that movie) and if super heroes were that hot… dayummmm. We need some more of those men in this world. Yum. I’ll stop drooling now.

        I probably should stop watching romance movies before I go to bed because then it makes me wish my life could be like The Notebook or The Titanic, or even Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Now, they even have mixtures of them, romance, Disney princess, and action/hero! By this I am referring to the upcoming movie, Snow White and the Huntsman, which I am very much looking forward to. Chris Hemsworth…oh yeah.

        Anyways, I wish I could say that they should not make movies about happily ever afters and super heroes and all of these seemingly impossible things, but I freaking love them so I cannot say that. I am just merely pointing out how awesome it would be if our lives were like movies. Don’t ya think?

        Okay okay, enough about falling in love and fighting crime because tomorrow I get to do both! Just kidding. Well who knows…maybe I will run into an old lady being robbed and I can chase down the guy and grab her purse for her. But that one just seems unlikely. I am however, possibly painting more tomorrow. OH YEAH. So I helped my grandma paint her kitchen today. Worst decision ever. I hate painting. Props to whoever makes careers out of that because you are the true heroes. Good lord that is tough work (pardon my word choice). But dang. So I may have to assist with that a little more. Get my tan on, and get a new tattoo. I know I said I wasn’t going to get another one. But Mags talked me into it. So wish me luck on that. I think I’ll be in good “hands” though so don’t worry. And then Wednesday I start working officially. Maybe a little nervous because this is my first actual job and I don’t want to mess it up. We shall see though. So here goes. I’m off to bed dreaming about fairy tales and sexy princes. Night ya’ll. 

Long, Hot Summer

      Okay since I know this summer will be really busy and fun and hot and exciting and special and random and crazy and fast, I decided that I needed to make a list of things that I have to accomplish at some point during the summer. Plus I just love making lists. So here it goes. And things may be added to it later on but this is what I have so far:

·        Get a tan (currently working on it)

·        Be at the lake as much as possible

·        Go camping

·        Fishing

·        Take a road trip with friends…somewhere…anywhere

·        Skydiving? (that’s still up in the air…get it? hehe)

·        Read my list of books

·        Get another tattoo (Tuesday)

·        Sleep under the stars

·        Skinny dipping (it’s always a must)

·        Streaking…oh wait…

·        Spend as much time as possible with my friends that I don’t get to see very often

·        No matter what I end up doing, make it a memorable summer. Have fun while I’m young, wild, and crazy. Learn me some experience in the work field without working my summer away. Fall in love…with something new. Waste time doing silly, meaningless things. Cherish time with good friends having good times. Get the tjs as much as possible because they are hilarious. Make new friends. Have as many new experiences as I can and spend time doing the things I already love.

·        Just…have a blast this summer

My summers mean a lot to me and I have yet to have a bad one. They just seem to get better and better with time. I foresee this current summer as being as great, if not greater, than the past ones. I know I need to enjoy it while I’m young, and I plan to do just that. This list is really pointless because there is no reason to plan summer. It should just come day to day as I see fit. Obviously not everything is going to go the way I want. I wont get all of the things I want. And there are things I want really badly. But my “plan” is to just take it one day at a time and make the best of whatever does happen. That is what I have been doing so far, and so far…I’m loving it. It will be a summer of great times with great people. 

It's Been Awhile

            Okay, I know it has been way too long since I’ve written a blog, but I’ve been busy on summer break, obviously. I believe the last time I wrote, it was late the night before my last two finals. Well let’s just say, I’m glad those are over. It’s been a week since I’ve written, and surprisingly a lot has happened. I had to say goodbye to a good friend, but only for a little while. She is moving away and I will miss her dearly. It is terrible timing that she has to leave right at the beginning of summer. I know she will enjoy it wherever she ends up, though, and I hope to see her soon.

            I’ve also seen a lot of friends since I’ve been home. Went to a baseball game or two. Got my job situation figured out. Turns out I get to be a host, and not just work in the back. So if you’re bored next week sometime between Wednesday and Sunday after 4:30, come by MacKenzie River and see me! I have gone streaking…twice in one week believe it or not. And normally I wouldn’t say this in my blog because that isn’t something you should just be spreading around, but who knows who is even reading this. Sorry if you are not enjoying hearing that…it was fun. So there. I feel like I’ve done a lot in the past week but it mainly consisted of laying in bed watching One Tree Hill on Netflix. Which sounds like the perfect summer break to me. Oh, I saw a couple movies, too. The Hunger Games…again. And the Avengers, which was amazing. I completely recommend it. Both of those movies actually.

            I guess the reason I decided to write finally, tonight, is because this was probably the best day of my entire life (I may be exaggerating a tad, but that is besides the point). And some people reading this may know why. But it was. It has definitely been awhile since one little thing made me that happy, but then it must be true that it's the little things in life that count, right? Anyways, tomorrow I get to cheer that person on, so thanks to you, I'll be pretty happy once again. 

            Unfortunately for me, I have to wake up super early, and it is already 3:15. But that’s okay. You only live once, right? I do not know who came up with that saying, although true, just sounds ridiculous. Like was there a person who thought that they lived more than once? Sure, I guess you could go into the idea of reincarnation, but that is kind of a stretch. Then there are cats…they apparently have nine lives. So YOLO doesn’t quite work for them, now does it? But really YOLO just seems to apply to everything nowadays. “I should do my homework but hey, you only live once”. “I should not be doing this ‘insert bad drug here’ right now but hey, you only live once.” Either way, I guess it’s fun to say and make fun of right? That seems to be the trend of today. If something is stupid and everyone knows it, just use it more. Like the “Duck Face” that girls make in pictures. We have established that it is stupid, so let’s all post pictures using the duck face and then caption the picture of how stupid it is to use the duck face. People these days…staying up till 3 in the morning, waking up at 8. Just outrageous. So I should probably go to sleep.

            I don’t want to go to sleep because this was an amazing night, but I have to. So here I go. Nighty night y’all. Even though anyone reading this is probably reading it after waking up. So in that case, good morning/afternoon. J  I'll write more soon.

(Unique Oxymoron)

            Okay guys, I’m gonna warn you: this blog might get a little bit sappy today. I'm not going to call it bittersweet, even though it is, I just feel like there should be a more unique term to describe it. Hence my title. Which isn't very unique, but that's okay, right?

            I’ll admit…I am actually a little sad right now thinking about this being my last night in Gannon hall. As shitty as it is, I have had so many good times this year here. I mean there is nothing like your first year of college. I’m not saying it’s your best, by any means. But your freshman year in college is when you first get out on your own, make a bunch of new friends. Really get to know the college experience for the first time.

            And I will never ever forget this year and the friendships I’ve formed. I never thought I would be sad to leave Gannon. I am actually scared for the future because this year went by so unbelievably fast. And this is only freshman year! As far as I’ve heard, it only gets better from here on out. I’ve never been one to wish time away. Yeah, okay when I’m in the middle of my 10^th hour studying for finals, I’ll admit, I kinda want time to go a teensy bit faster. But even in high school, although I was excited to go to college, I never wanted my senior year to end. Maybe I’m just one of those people who just has a blast no matter what, but I really enjoyed high school. And I’ve enjoyed college so far a million times more.

            I’m just not ready to leave Pullman yet. I guess, to me, it feels like it’s going to be forever before I get to come back, even though I’ll be back during the summer and we’ll all be back here in a few months. I wish I would have savored this year a little more than I did. I had a blast but I just watched it fly by. Sometimes you really take for granted how fast life goes. Everyone, and I mean literally everyone is told that life goes by fast so you need to cherish it. But until a period of time goes by, it’s almost too difficult for any person to comprehend. Even with this summer and next year, I’ll say that I’m going to cherish it more, but I know I’ll just let it fly by fast again. Not that I can really control it. And it’s not a bad thing because I know that I will be enjoying myself. Ha. Gosh I feel like I’m graduating again and that I’ll never see these people again. Which isn’t true. But I have made some great friendships this year. Even friends that I already knew, I became closer to a lot of people.

            It’s hard to tell myself right now that I will be back and enjoying this just as much next year. One of those things that I wont believe it till I see it. Which is why it’s so sad and I’m really not wanting to leave. I just want this night to last forever. Luckily for me, I got to spend my last night in a good way and not just isolated studying, even if that’s what I probably should have been doing! Maybe I’ll just stay up all night. HAH. That’s a joke, I can almost never last all-nighter’s. I’m a person who really enjoys her sleep.

            But this is okay. I’ll be back here in at least 100 days. If not, sooner. So I’m going to try not to be so sad about it. Next year will be a blast, I’ll meet more new people, make new memories, and learn a bunch of new things (hopefully). It will be good. I know it. So I’m going to stop all of this sappy stuff and try to get some final studying in before I go to sleep. But thank you to everyone who made this such an exciting experience and fun year. I will not forget a single one of you J

Jail Time

            Wanna know what I do when I am extremely bored in my room by myself? Either way, this is my blog, so you’re going to hear it.

            First of all, I woke up, and then I fell back asleep because I did not truly have to be anywhere today, right? Next, to actually wake myself up, I took a shower. Then I thought, hey, all of my clothes are out right now to be packed, maybe I could try on some cute outfits… so I put on one, laid on my bed and fell back asleep. When I woke up about 20 minutes later I said, “Sydney, you need to freaking study.” So I studied for about an hour. Then I went and got some breakfast around one o’clock. I attempted to study a little more, but the lure of One Tree Hill was just calling my name, so I watched three episodes of that. Then I called my mommy to see what was crackin’ with her. Not a whole lot. At least not enough to keep me distracted from studying for long. I went through my flash cards again a few times and then watched another episode of OTH. Then, believe it or not, I was so bored that I couldn’t even sit and watch that anymore. I literally paced around my room. I felt like I was in jail. Not that I know the feeling, but I can only imagine.

            I’m not one to get restless. I can sit and read a book all day long for probably three days straight. But right now I am just utterly restless. I laid on my bed, holding my legs in the air as high as I could for as long as I could…just for something to do. I know what you’re thinking, “why don’t you just go do something if you’re so bored, Sydney?” Well, I feel like if I left my room it would just be distracting me from my studying, even though there wasn’t a lot of that going on. So then I turned on some music, which I am currently listening to right now, and I’ve just been singing away pretending I’m the next Carrie Underwood…HAH. Good one. For those of you who know me really well, you know what my voice sounds like. Lucky you, right?!

            I’m fairly well rehearsed on my flashcards. Just not quite what I need to be. My exam isn’t until three tomorrow. And based on my energy level right now, unless I crash, I’m thinking I’m going to be up for awhile. Oh joy. So I guess I’ll get some more hours of studying in by tomorrow afternoon. Bleh. School sucks. I need to leave my room. It’s driving me insane. Please, oh please, friends, never let me do anything stupid enough to land me in a prison cell, because that will not go over well, and I will need serious psychological treatment afterwards if I do.

            Here I go…again…on my own. Goin’ down the only road...I’ve ever known. Like a drifter, I, Sydney, was born to walk alone. And believe me, I’ve made up my mind, and I ain’t wastin no more time.

            Just kidding, I’m totally wasting time, and I am not like a drifter in any way. I like the pleasure of being in the company of lots of people thank you very much. Okay, I’m done. 

Monday Not Funday

Well, like I said I would…I’m once again procrastinating through my blog. I just can’t help it. I think some of my most entertaining blogs were written through procrastination. Although, I am proud of myself because I did get quite a bit of studying done today. But after a certain point, it is really hard to keep staring at the same information over and over again.

            Another thing I got accomplished today: cleaned out my room. My roommate, Chanel, left today L. Well she’s still here in Pullman, but she left our room and is flying home in the morning. I’ll admit it, I teared up a bit when she left. It’s so weird being here alone. I haven’t actually been in my room alone, with only my stuff since the very first day I came here. Like nine months ago! We could have had a baby by this time or something. I am so sad. I do not want to leave Pullman! I don’t know if I’m ready to be back in Spokane for good yet. I’ve made so many good friends here. And even though I know I will see them next year, things always change over periods of time and I know I wont see the majority of them for the summer. Obviously there are good things about going home, too. I get to see all of my friends from home more. I still don’t want to leave yet, though.

            Chanel and I cleaned our room today…and now it’s already a mess again. I took all of my clothes that were hanging up in my closet and laid them out, to see what I’ll be working with and how I am going to pack all of it back into a car. So now the room is cluttered again. But oh well. You’d think that since I have my room all to myself now that I could get some serious studying done…wrong. I will most likely be doing the opposite if I just sit in my room. I’m going to have to find somewhere else to study. I can’t study in complete silence so I have to have some background noise. If I leave the T.V. on, even if it is stupid infomercials or something, I’ll watch it. So then you would think music, right? Wrong. Since I am by myself, I will be singing all the words and dancing around the room. It always happens and it is something that is almost uncontrollable. Maybe I was on broadway in a past life. Singing and dancing. Even if I’m not good at it, I love doing it.

           Well I guess I better get back to studying for the evening...meaning One Tree Hill.